The Minotaur and His Maze

At this point, my relationship with Jack no longer feels like something delicate, that could be easily disturbed by changing circumstances. We’ve worked together and spent time apart. He’s shot features in London while I was on set for a limited series in Atlanta and during the months apart, we communicated via FaceTime and texting. In some ways, the distance brought us closer. We each thrive when deeply immersed in our work.

Jack has only gotten more invested in his work as an actor. He shadowed Daniel Day Lewis in his comeback to acting on the West End, and it forever changed him. We had no way of knowing, at the time, how his experience in the role would come to impact our relationship together, or his own humanity. But let me not be cryptic, and instead tell you about the part we played in Christopher Nolan’s Minotaur movie… that never was. 

We were shooting in Utah, which I was tasked with refashioning to look like the Mediterranean desert. It was a big lift, but one I was willing to take on, grateful at least to have some production returning to the United States. Jack was cast to play the Minotaur, an easy choice given his hulking frame and the softness in his eyes that would help the audience sympathize with the beast trapped in the maze. 

They hired me because of some work I had done on the Maze runner reboot. Technically we can’t call it that, because the publishing company took away the rights at the last minute. The crew was paid in advance, so we shot anyway. “Jogger Through the Maze” was a limited series that was cancelled before it ever made it to a streaming platform. Pictures of the maze I had built leaked to Twitter, and the controversy about shelving the project before it was ever released got more industry eyes on it. One thing led to another, and when it came time for Chris Nolan to find a production designer to create the labyrinth for his Minotaur movie, he came to me. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Jack was cast in the role. He didn’t pull more weight than I did in Hollywood, by any means, but we were building quite the reputation as two stars in our individual fields, drawn together by the pursuit of excellence. 

”You want me covered in prosthetics and fur? My face isn’t that hard to look at, is it?”

I thought Chris would laugh at my joke, but clearly that was expecting too much. He’s a serious man, with a serious resume. I was surprised to be getting pitched a project set in mythical Greece so soon after his Odyssey flick, but I guess Chris developed a fascination with the setting. 

”I’m done with time travel, done with historical figures. What I’m looking for now is to explore the idea of myth. Why have some stories lingered in our consciousness? Why is Percy Jackson so fucking popular?” Chris asks me at our meeting over coffee. 

I respond, “I think because it gave children the idea that their lives could be slightly more grand, you know? Maybe, for a tween that’s starting to experience difficulties in life like battling their parental figures, Percy Jackson offered an escape. Riordan posits that we aren’t simply the products of the people who raised us, but maybe godly infidelity led us to be reared.” 

“That’s fascinating,” Chris replies, “Yeah, my kids love that Percy Jackson stuff, and I get it. My parents were engaged in all sorts of infidelity, and for a while I also wondered if I could be the product of some kind of god or goddess that one of them was intimate with. But my parents were always just cheating on each other with babysitters and mailmen, and sometimes in-laws that they had sexual tension with at family events. It was quite a toxic household. 

I admired Chris for his ability to get deep and personal. This wasn’t a man who had issues with vulnerability. Clearly, he brought all of himself to his work. It struck a chord with me. I’ve always wanted to feel a deep connection to the material, to further weld together my experience with that of a character I’m asked to portray. 

“So Chris, this Minotaur movie. What draws you to the idea of this creature trapped in a maze?“ 

“Well,” he says, then he pauses for nearly 45 seconds. They were the longest 45 seconds of my life. ”Wouldn’t you say we’re all creatures? Trapped inside this maze called life?“ 

I was sold. I would be his Minotaur. 

I hardly noticed that Jack was disappearing into literature about Ancient Greece, immersing himself in stories about half-men and half beasts, because I was engaged in work of my own. I knew that creating a maze with this budget, to be seen on IMAX screens across the world, was going to be the single greatest challenge of my career. Sure, I’d made a maze before, but that was for a smaller production, with less ambitious creative minds attached. I know how much Chris wants the audience to feel trapped in the Labyrinth, and my goal was to create a maze that would feel impossible to escape.

I studied famous mazes in media, like those in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, as well as the impossible designs imagined by M.C. Escher. Unlike my previous projects, on this I knew I had a team that could bring my wildest dreams to life. As it turns out, I really had taken to designing mazes. When she was a child, Agnes and I would create intricate mazes to trace our way out of. As we aged and she got smarter and smarter, the mazes we made together got more convoluted. 

But I didn’t want the maze to appear so simple that any child could solve it. I was forced to think hard about how someone could truly get lost in the maze. I got quite lost in the work myself. Jack and I were like parallel ships, each following the stars to reach a grand destination. Mine, the maze that could lead men to insanity. He, the beast who lived there. 

As I dug into the mind of the Minotaur, I realized He would be the most fascinating character I had ever played. In many ways, He and I aren’t so different. The Minotaur cowers in His maze and hides from other people, not realizing the ways in which He had cast away His mortality. I was reminded of my early days of fame, avoiding other people due to fearing their perception. In a way, I had become more of a beast than a man, despite maintaining my own head and not quite growing a tail. 

My experience with Daniel (Day Lewis) in the West End had taught me about the value of connecting deeply with a character and severing yourself from dishonest work. I learned not just about portraying the ways in which you differ from the character, but fully changing those attributes as well. Modelling yourself in the vision of the character you seek to create, in the same way that God created Man in his image as well. That was the process that I embarked on to create the Minotaur. I sought to figure out what makes Him tick, and how I could embody the essence of the Minotaur in my own life. This meant retreating from parts of my life that would distract me from the role. I felt guilt; I was unsure about taking this space from my relationship, which had just hit a stride. So, CJ and I sat down to discuss how this upcoming job would affect our partnership. 

I told her, “I'm finding something that I haven't yet experienced as an actor. I don't relate to the Minotaur, at least not on the surface. So I’m afraid that to do justice to the part, I’ll have to go deep…” 

“That isn't usually a problem for you,” she replied, and my cheeks turn hot. This is the kind of playful, suggestive banter that usually functions as the bedrock of our intimacy. But today, I’m too stressed about the walls I’ve been creating between us to be charmed. 

“I’m worried that this may be the type of role that I have to completely lose myself in if I want to deliver. And I'm worried that will negatively impact our relationship-”

“Jack.” CJ presses a finger to my lips, “Don’t be worried. Your commitment to your work is one of the sexiest things about you. I'm in the same place with my work on the maze.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. I just think it's an important challenge for me. The maze feels like more than just a career opportunity, it feels like an opportunity to create something that has a place in history. I want to make a maze that you… could truly get lost in.” 

“I love seeing you engrossed in your work.” Looking deeply into her eyes, I almost see the walls of the maze swirling in them. 

“Your beard is getting so long,” She grabs a tuft of the hair that's been growing below my chin, “I feel like you're already in character.” 

She pulls me close by my beard and kisses me. I fully submit to her, my nerves set at ease. We both give our all to our work, but in this moment we give our all to each other. 

I love waking up in the mornings, tangled up with Jack. But this morning, seeing how the angles of our body fit together, I found myself thinking about the angles of the maze I would create. I fantasize about how the maze could live and breathe almost as if it was a real thing. 

I’ve created some rules about my maze. I don't believe it should be able to shift and change its design. The maze is a challenge to the mind and spirit, but the fight has to be fair between maze and man. The maze must be one convoluted structure that stands in place as it was designed. Rules and structure provide the space for improvisation and discovery— that's a huge lesson I’ve learned from filmmaking. Actors can only be free to let their imagination wander when there is a lifelike world for them to work in. Building that world requires focus, planning, and deadlines. I passed my 10,000 hours in production design a long time ago, and those hours have given me the opportunity to now let my mind wander freely, to create this maze that could deliver men to madness. I sit at my desk and scribble the corners and passageways that my Minotaur will use to lure men to their demise. 

It’s the night before shooting. CJ and I have been assigned to our trailers, and we decided to spend this night apart— equally her decision as my own. She’s overseeing the final installation of the maze she built for me to wander. Chris was ecstatic at her desire to build a real maze, not just create a few walls and corridors to simulate the experience. Her attitude inspires me. None of what we've ever done together has ever been false or inauthentic. My performance cannot be false or inauthentic either. I sit down to meditate, breathing deeply and welding my soul to that of the Minotaur. I become half-man and half-beast. I grunt and tap my hooves on the ground. Wait- the Minotaur doesn't have hooves. He has the head and tail of a bull, but the body of a human. I can't believe I could make such a foolish error in my preparation. It’s good that we've taken this night away. The camera reveals the secrets we try to hide from it, and I’m sure that such an error would be obvious, and would destroy the overall quality of the film. I won’t stand for it. I have to go harder. 

I begin to think as the Minotaur, to be as the Minotaur. I walk out of my trailer and to the set, where I find CJ standing outside, putting the finishing touches on her masterpiece. But I can't get distracted. I do not get distracted. I am the Minotaur. I wander the maze. 

Jack approaches me as I finish painting the facade of the labyrinth. I’ve toiled for months to bring these walls to life, and can hardly believe that we start shooting tomorrow. Over the last week, I’ve gone over the map countless times. Chris himself has looked at it in awe. He won't let anyone go into the maze before production, afraid that they won't be able to find their way out. It’s a testament to my work, he said, that we’ll truly be able to convey the scale and the horror of the myth in a modern context. We’re operating with the same sense of danger on our set that Theseus felt walking the halls to face the Minotaur. 

Distracted by this thought, I hardly notice as Jack walks right past me, entering the maze. I almost call out to stop him, but as I heard his grunts I knew: he was locked in. The best thing I could do for the production is to leave him be. He is my man, myth, and legend. I know that when the sun rises, he’ll give the best damn Minotaur performance that Hollywood has ever seen. 

The next morning, I wake up in my trailer and head over to crafty. I grab a donut and stuff it in my mouth as Chris Nolan begins his first day address. 

“Hello, all. Thank you for joining me here today, as all of your contracts legally stipulate you were required to do-” The room chuckles at a classic director bit from a classic director. All of the greats know how to wield cliche. 

“Today, we begin a journey through the maze. The original story of the Minotaur tells of a labyrinth that tests the human spirit. It tests our tenacity and devotion, our ability to stay the course even when faced with doubt, misdirection, and the other beasts that challenge our fortitude. I hope that, on the journey we are embarking on today, we can forge ahead with trust in our systems and in each other at every step of the way.”

I look around and see the nodding heads of the crew. It’s more than polite affirmation, these people believe in his vision and have already put in countless hours towards bringing it to life. Even so, they're all ready to put in countless more. 

“Speaking of the beasts that may challenge us, where is Jack, our lovely and dedicated Minotaur?” 

I’m unable to spot him. Maybe he’s stuffing his face at crafty, or taking a 10-1? But missing a first day address isn't like him. I see the PA’s call in to one another on their radios. It’s one of their job’s to keep eyes on the lead actors, and clearly someone has shirked their responsibility. Suddenly, a PA runs up. 

“He’s not in his trailer, but his phone and script are still in there. I'm not sure where he could be.” “You're fired,” Chris declares. ”Where could Jack be?!” 

As if to answer, a roar emanates from the labyrinth. It sounds almost completely animal in nature, but even in this guttural noise I hear the slightest hint of a London vowel betraying him. 

“That’s Jack!” I exclaim. 

“He must already be at his one. That's what I call a professional.” Christopher enthusiastically grabs his monitor, and I'm relieved to hear this affirmation of Jack’s work. 

He’s not in the first scenes we’re shooting, so we continue on with the day. We grab the first shots of the hero of the story: Finn Wolfhard’s Theseus enters the maze, followed by Christopher Nolan operating his own IMAX Camera. Those huge sensors take in every detail of the labyrinth I created as we move deeper and deeper inside… 

Footsteps echo through the labyrinth, my home. It has been too long since I was made an offering of human flesh. I crave it. Sustenance does not come by often in the maze, but when it does, it is easily retrieved. For few others have learned how these walls breathe… 

We’ve been wandering inside the labyrinth for god knows how long. Thankfully, the cast knows their lines, because every PA we’ve sent back to retrieve scripts or water has not returned. In my quest to create a labyrinth that would evoke legendary despair, I created one that does seem genuinely impossible to navigate.

”We’ve used up our last memory card. We have to go back and fetch a new one.” Chris said, palpably concerned. We walk back from where we came, but every turn looks just like the last. It’s impossible to know how to return to base camp. 

”My ego is not too big to admit it: I’m lost. You built one hell of a maze.” The crew chuckles, the director’s admission putting us at ease. Everyone is lost, besides me. I designed this maze. I know each corner, every step on the path that will take this crew to their destiny. Heavy stomps reverberate through the walls. 

”What was that?” 

Finally, they have come to me. I turn a corner and see my sacrifice. A group of mortals carrying convoluted technologies. No doubt they mean to destroy me. Many have tried before, and none have succeeded. I increase my pace and charge at the fools sent to end me. I will end them. 

“Jack! There you are. By god, we were worried we’d never be able to get your coverage,” a member of their party jeers at me. 

I do not gather their meaning. I pick up the frail one, who stands in front of their party. I love to whet my appetite before the main course. 

“Jack, what’s going on?!” He screams. 

“Put down Finn Wolfhard, Jack! We didn’t discuss this with the fight choreographer!” Says the middle aged man controlling the large technological device. 

The party is shocked as I take my first bite. They wail and run deeper into the maze, my home. They all run, besides one. A beautiful woman stands firm and looks at me with glee. 

”Feast, my love! Let my soul find dignity through your acceptance of my offering! Let the animal inside you roam free, and devour!” 

I hoist her into the air, and lick her from her feet to her face. She has brought me my supper, and shall be rewarded. But first, I must eat. I stomp through the maze, eager to continue my meal…