Hundreds of cast and crew stand watching as they wait for the director to address them on their very first day of filming. Emotions run high, and they run the gamut: anxiety, excitementâand, for my part, some mild nausea.Â
âI want to thank you all for devoting your time and energy to this project,â I say, perched on an apple box. Everyoneâs eyes are on me. âIâm excited to create something special together.â
Somewhat to my surprise, I donât want to shrink away from their gaze. I am emboldened by it. My shoulders drop. Itâs obvious these people trust me to lead them, and Iâll do everything to ensure that their trust is well-earned, even on the most trying days on set.
âWhen Jack and I founded Swan Dive Productionsââ I gesture to him a few rows back, where heâs crossing his arms and suppressing a grin among the sea of facesâ âthis was exactly the kind of story we saw ourselves bringing to the screen. Stakes, sex scenesâand no superheroes.â
I get the laughs I was going for.
When Tomâs wife Molly announced over dinner that the galleys for her next novel had arrived, Iâd insisted on taking one before we left their house. âIâll have my people call your people,â Iâd joked, but holding it in my hands, it felt like kismet. Mollyâs book, Camembert Dreams, is about two best friends who are dancers, falling in and out of love over the course of thirty years on two different continents. Itâs dramatic, sweeping, funny, poignant, and adult. I laughed, I cried, I read passages out loud to Jack in bed. I knew fifty pages in that I wanted it to be the first film we made together.Â
I lock eyes with him now, on set, picturing the copy we marked up together before going into full adaptation mode. âJack? You want to say anything?â
He clears his throat and takes two steps forward, but he remains in the mix of the cast and crew. âEvery time I make a movie, it still feels like an impossible dream, and this time even more so,â he says. âAs an actor, youâre given the script and only have a small window to spend with it. Having the privilege of lingering on this one, of being involved in this story every step of the wayâit only makes me more excited to see how we all bring it to life.â
He sends a small, discreet wink my way, and God, if it doesnât set my insides fluttering.Â
I tear my gaze away and nod to Amanda, the assistant director on Gatsby, who we convinced to team up with us again. âOkay, letâs go. Pictureâs up in five.â
âThatâs places in five, everyone! Last looks!â Amanda claps her hands for emphasis, and hair, makeup, and wardrobe set about ensuring that thereâs not a strand, an eyelash, or a thread out of place.
As I mentally catalog the list of things I have to do to ready myself for the first shot, I hear the patter of little ballet slippers. Agnes is running toward me, with Stuart hot on her heels.Â
âJust in time!â I say as Agnes flings herself into my arms. I glance at Stuart. âThank you for bringing her today.â
Agnes pulls away and I smooth her now-ratty tutu, the one she insists on wearing everywhere. The one she knows is just like the costume the star of the movie will wear, minus the pizza stains. My hope is that if Agnes can see for herself what Iâm doing on setâcan experience it in her own wayâit will make the time when Iâm away a little easier on both of us.
I ruffle her hair and kiss her cheek, then catch Stuartâs eye. âYouâll keep her away from the electric department?â
He puts his arm around me and gives me a look. âI would be remiss if I didnât take this opportunity to tell you for the millionth time that Iâm so proud of you, honey. And your mother would be, too. Iâm allowed to be sappy. Itâs one of those kinds of days.âÂ
My heart swells a little, and I donât try to stop it. âThank you. For that and for helping make it possibleââI gesture at the tote full of Agnesâs gear draped over his shoulderââfor me to follow in your directorial footsteps.â
He flicks his wrist. âYour work will be far more tasteful. And if you happen to need an extra background actor, let me know. I think I might be due for my second act.â
âImagine you fading into the background.â I shake my head, laughing. âBut I could use your opinion on this first setup, if you have time?â
He puts his hand to his chest in mock disbelief. âMoi?âÂ
âOui,â I tell him, playing along.Â
âAgnes, why donât youââ But before he can finish, Jack is by my side.
âIâm not in this first scene,â Jack says. âHe squats down to get eye level with Agnes. âWhy donât you and I take a walk over to crafty?â
âWhatâs crafty?â she asks, clearly perturbed by the idea that thereâs yet another thing that needs explaining by adults.
âCode word for snacks.â His tone turns conspiratorial. âAnd we have to go quick, before all the good ones are taken.â He holds out his hand and she takes it.
Jack stands, but before they walk away, he points to the four of us. âHey,â he starts. âWhat about this for our next movie?â
âYou mean us? Our love story?â
âHavenât you heard?â he asks. âRomance is back.â
âItâs not a bad idea.â Iâm already picturing the most cinematic moments in my mind. âBut you canât play yourself.â