Cooking has always felt like second nature to me. Right now, I desperately wish I could say the same about baking.
Ever since Paige announced that she wanted to throw a “divorce party,” I was sent into a spiral of questions that I needed her to answer. Is this something that people do in Brooklyn? Are guests expected to bring gifts to this kind of thing? And what about a cake? Does it make sense to have one? And would the cake need… candles?
“Oh, absolutely, a cake will be very necessary for mine. I was going to ask—do you know any bakeries that do a really good strawberry one?” As soon as Paige spoke these words, I knew that I wanted to accomplish the impossible. Me, someone who cooks with pure instinct, no measurement, and constantly changing recipes, was going to finally learn how to bake a serious cake. It felt like what any good girlfriend would do.
I told her I’d handle it, hoping she’d just assume I was putting in an order somewhere. Now, a huge part of me wishes I had actually ordered one from Sammy’s Bakery in the town over. It would be delicious, sure, but for Paige, I wanted her to feel special.
So, I’ve landed myself in a pickle with the party about to start. Working in our new kitchen up the hill, I’m scrambling to whisk together the icing to cover the cake and to finish the arrangement of beautiful, ripe strawberries I’ve cut up to decorate it. Knowing Paige, she might just pluck the strawberries one by one, savoring every bite before even cutting her first slice.
As I’m working, my phone rings. It’s Paige.
“Hey, are you still in the big kitchen? Abby and Mands just got here. Raj said he and his husband won’t be more than a second. What’s taking so long?”
“I’ll only be a second. I’m just making a couple more, uh,” I realize I can’t spoil the secret, “a couple more snacks for everyone.”
“Aww, thank you,” she says to a guest, I can hear the crowd behind her. “How sweet, Mands brought me a gift. But I think we’re good on snacks, Frankie. I can help carry things over if that might—”
“No,” I say, realizing I interjected. “I mean, sorry, but you don’t have to worry. This is your party. I want you to have fun.”
“Okay. Well, I think it’d be much more fun with you here.”
Shit, she’s on edge. Another doorbell rings.
“Hold on, it’s Raj. Hurry down, yeah?” Paige says, her pleading more direct.
“Yes, I will. I’ll see you soon.” I hang up the phone.
My eyes start to dart back and forth – an unfinished cake, some icing, strawberries, phone. I look across the way and see the main house with Paige and the early guests, our friends starting to add up. I need to meet her down there, and quickly. I think. I try not to panic.
I throw what’s left of the cake in the fridge and make a plan. "It’ll only take a second. I’ll sneak back later, finish up, and surprise Paige with a perfect cake for her.”
After it’s all tucked away, I catch my reflection in the window by the door. I stand up straight, I take a deep breath. I ready myself to go down and meet Paige.
“Okay,” I say to myself, “time to earn the girlfriend of the year award.”
As soon as I walk in, I’m surrounded by the warmest energy and laughter. Raj, Mands, and Abby are here. Paige’s sister Eve managed to make the trip up. Paige even insisted on inviting all the new Two Peas workers who came in for the season. “I’ve already told them my whole life story, so of course we need to invite them.”
Even among a crowd, it’s easy to spot Paige’s glow. She’s tucked beside a living room corner, chatting in a circle with Mands and Abby.
“Oh, there she is! Finally…” Paige finds her way over to me. With a glass of wine in hand, she greets me with a tight, tense kiss. I can tell by the way she’s holding me that she missed me more than I thought.
“I was just telling Mands about all the silly decorations we made together. Weren’t they so fun to do?” Paige says, I can feel her slowly easing.
“These ones… These might be my favorite.” Mands picks up a few picture frames, all with old photos of Paige and Jared. Jared’s face, however, has been cut out and replaced by any number of her celebrity crushes. She requested Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, of course, a young Tom Hanks.
“I mean, come on, is there any wonder why I look so happy here?” Paige pulls a photo close—it’s her with a bright smile and a Tom cut-out from the movie Big.
“Mr. Hanks, I have to say, you’re letting go of a good one,” I tell her.
Around me, I hear a little plastic party horn blowing toward us. It’s the always bubbly Eve turning a corner, smiling wide, and making good use of the party hats we set out for everyone.
“I absolutely love that you’re having the party here. It’s such a gorgeous home, Frankie. You must host things like this here all the time,” Eve says, adoring every nook and cranny she lays her eyes on.
“Hmm, not very many actually,” I think and begin to realize. “Honestly, I can’t remember the last time there was this many people here. For a long time, it was only ever me and Fran. Now, of course, Paige and Bobby are here on most days, but there’s hardly ever a big group. It feels... really good.”
“I’m sure it does, the entire place is stunning,” Eve taps my shoulder, then looks back at Paige. “It brings me so much joy to see you here with Frankie. I can’t imagine a better person for you. I’m so glad everything with Jared can finally be a thing of the past.”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” says Paige, rolling her eyes. “Of course, he’ll always be Bobby’s dad. Yesterday, I dropped Bobby off with him for the weekend and honestly, I could already feel the relief. I’m finally free to choose whatever I want for myself. No more waiting, worrying, thinking. I’m just Paige, and Bobby’s my kid.”
She looks up at me. Her shoulders relax.
“And Frankie’s my girlfriend. For an amazing year and a half now.”
“Wow, has it really been that long?” I say, in genuine disbelief. “I guess time flies when you’re having…”
I get distracted. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that all the snacks are running low. I told myself I wanted Paige to have as little responsibility as possible.
“I’m going to tidy up, quick,” I whisper to Paige. “Don’t worry about me.”
As I head to the kitchen to refill the snacks, Raj nearly stops me in my tracks.
“I know it’s no surprise, but all the little bites you guys made are so delicious,” Raj says, “what did you put in these deviled eggs? I was telling my husband, I could eat a dangerous amount of these.”
“Oh, nothing new. Whenever my dad used to make them, he’d spend the extra time making the mayo from scratch. Some good olive oil, eggs, and lots of patience. Since I was making so many, I thought I’d give it a shot.” As we’re talking, I sporadically add more to the charcuterie tray and the other finger foods we have. I’m so glad that Raj’s been enjoying them. He’s given me more good eats than pretty much anyone else in Sungold.
As things settle down, I catch a bit of Paige talking to Mands. I listen in.
“No, I originally planned it for my house. But then Frankie offered me her space since she didn’t want me to bother cleaning up so much or moving around too many of Bobby’s things.” She can’t tell I’m within earshot. She keeps going. “I didn’t want to put so much on Frankie’s plate, but she was really excited to help out. I can tell it’s sometimes been a lot for her but I mean, look around… this beautiful house is so full.”
I can’t help but smile wide. As I look through the crowd, everyone’s happy and enjoying themselves—I even hear Paige heave out a genuine belly laugh. It feels like the right time. I sneak by, grazing Paige’s shoulder as I move past.
“I’ll be up at the big kitchen. I’ll only take a second.” I try my best to be reassuring, I can tell she doesn’t want me to leave.
“Hurry back, okay? We’re having so much fun.”
Finally, I can see the finish line with this godforsaken cake. I’ve been up here longer than I’d like, but I know Paige is going to love this. I got my icing to sit and taste the way I wanted, and after I tidy up the corners, all that’s left is the little organization of the strawberries.
Before I zip through the task, I give one a taste. It’s incredible. Sweet, tart, perfectly soft.
Little by little, I set quarter slices all along the edges, then a few along the top so there’s almost a little crown. I’m nearly ready to walk the cake over, but I want to call Mands first. Hopefully, they can distract Paige so we can catch her by surprise. She’ll love to see everybody together, and who knows, maybe even make a patented Paige speech.
When I go to call Mands, I realize that Paige tried to call me a bit ago. She must be wondering what’s been taking me so long. Then, I hear footsteps. They’re coming up from the main house. I start to panic—I know it must be Paige.
Can I still surprise her? Should I hide the cake? No, it doesn’t matter, she’ll still love it when I show it to her. I scatter around to tidy what’s left, I close the fridge, I put away icing, strawberries, but then…
My foot completely slips, and I nearly fall backward onto the ground. I manage to hold myself up by throwing my hand onto the table.
To my horror, I threw my hand square onto the cake as it rested on the table. Smushed through three layers of sponge, icing, and immaculate strawberry is a print of my firm, enormous, Two Peas-working hand.
The whole cake is ruined. Whatever panic I might’ve had only accelerates.
I hear footsteps again. They settle at the door. Then, a knock.
“Frankie, you still in here?” It’s Paige, I totally freeze. She opens up.
I look and feel embarrassed. My hand and half my arm are full of cake, while the once glorious surprise for Paige is now sitting lifeless on the commercial kitchen island.
“Oh, is that…” She turns her head. She takes it in a second time. “Is that a cake? Did you make that?”
“It was, I didn’t mean for it to…” My words are uncertain, it was never supposed to look this bad.
“I didn’t know you were baking me this, that’s so—”
“I just slipped, it was finished and perfect a second ago but now it’s all—”
“Frankie, it’s all right. It’s just a cake, why is this stressing you out so much—”
“It’s all ruined. Really, terribly ruined!” I finally say, with a frustration I haven’t felt in a good, long while.
Paige takes a few slow steps and walks over from the door. She lands right beside me.
She sighs. Of course she would, this all looks terrible.
Then, Paige takes one of the strawberries from the cake and swipes it full of icing. She takes a bite of it, savoring every bit.
“Mm. This is really, really good, you know. Where did you get these strawberries?”
“From the market last week, but it doesn’t matter much now does it?”
“Until about two seconds ago, I didn’t even know you were baking this. I was so focused on all the wonderful things you put together to make this party happen.”
I creep my head back, I can see Paige looking at me with a smile. Then, a tinge of annoyance.
“And, to be fair, about how much you kept taking on. I mean, how much could I enjoy it if I was constantly missing you at my own party!?” Paige shakes her head.
“I just wanted you to have the best night,” I tell her, “I know how much you’ve been waiting for this. Seeing how the divorce has been such a big hassle for you, I was happy to see that weight finally leave. You’re the absolute best mother and partner in the world, and I just wanted to be the best girlfriend for you too.”
“But that’s the thing, I don’t want you to be some imaginary ‘best girlfriend,’” she says, “I just want you to be Frankie.”
I look at what’s left of my mess, and then I look back at Paige. Just behind her, too, I see the house full of silhouettes of all the guests enjoying themselves. My thoughts are still jumbled.
“I guess, even a year and a half in, being with you can still feel so new to me. And now with the divorce, for the first time…” my voice gets more emotional than I want, “for the first time, our future is open in a completely different way. I know that doesn’t mean anything, and it doesn’t mean I think we should get married…”
I see a small crack in Paige, she smiles, maybe earnestly.
“What? Did that freak you out?” I ask.
“No, please. I didn’t want to interrupt you.” She’s eased me. I take her at her word.
“I never dreamed of anything like this, or of a life with anyone like you before. Of living together on the farm with a family and partner I love. Now that I’m seeing everybody fill up my dad’s house like nothing else ever has… I don’t know, it scared me a bit. Or, at least, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I just became a stress ball about it.”
Paige looks up and down my arm—I forgot it was completely smothered with smashed cake and strawberries. She swipes a chunk of the cake, and plops it right on my lips, and right on my nose.
“Hey, what the—” She caught me off guard, I was totally disarmed.
“You know, it isn’t a bad thing that you’re thinking of marriage. That’s the point of a divorce party, isn’t it?”
“Is that… Is that really what they’re about? I told you, I didn’t even know that people did these.” Before I can keep rambling, she plots more cake on me, amassing it all on my nose.
I retaliate, and kiss her, specifically to get cake onto her too. I land some on her lips. We kiss, with a bit of icing in between.
“Keep going, it tastes amazing.” For a minute, we’re totally lost in the sugary makeout.
She pulls back. We’re both messy. She smiles as big as I’ve ever seen her.
“You know, so many of our friends and family are here and they’ve all been having a great time…” She looks back at the house—their silhouettes dance as if they hardly miss us. “If this is how you like to throw parties, then maybe we should have some more. And who knows, maybe even a really, really big one down the line.”
Paige winks at me, making my heart flutter about as much as the day I first met her.
And just like that, it’s as if my day had been nothing but perfect.